Commenting on Akwakristy – https://youtu.be/kxoBeaAt5bA?si=Gl21BXeZ4O5T0gCw

Ipemndoh dan Iyan PhM 

Being in Love ain’t easy

 

Falling in Love in a sexual Relationship and be happy is a Roll of the Dice, Akwakristy. Nevertheless, I keep advising young “Nigerian” Ladies not to make Themselves Victims of/to abusive Men. Abuse is not just physical, and I am sure y’all know of the easy ones which come to Mind such as emotional, psychological, and sexual. However, there is the ‘financial Abuse’ that you evidently suffered from your lowlife Boyfriend who felt so entitled to depend on you; the ‘Entitlement  Syndrome Abuse’© This Type of Abuse is linked invariably to ‘Dependency Abuse’© A “broke Ass Man,” as you called your Boyfriend, Akwakristy, has no Right to be living off his Girlfriend. Bringing him into your Home was your Bad, Akwakristy, and I do not sympathise. The least he could do for himself was take care of himself by himself including clothing, feeding and housing himself, but you young People never listen to old Folks like me.

 

Don’t be Stupid, you are not the good Samaritan

 

I am 67 Years old. I live in the UK. I had a Girlfriend in her late 20s when I was 60 (2017). We met after her Relationship with a “broke Ass” 40ish-50ish Nigerian Man who entered the UK illegally ended (and post what I thought was my permanent Disengagement from a mid-20s Lady). My late 20s Lady had given her Bank Card to her 40ish-50ish “broke Ass” Boyfriend, but all he did was use her Money to have sexual Romances with other Women. I believed her. She showed me her Bank Statements from when she had £70,000 in her Bank Account to when her Account began to struggle. A young hardworking Woman – how many UK Homes have that Kind of Balance in their Accounts even now in 2024? – brought to Ruin by a Godforsaken Man.

 

Fairness in sexual Romance

 

The late 20s Lady and I broke up because she wanted me to bail her out of the Debts the lowlife burdened her with. Why should I? I know what to expect in Relationships with Women, young or older but paying off the financial Debts of a Woman imposed on her by another Man is not one of those Expectations. Am I stupid or what? I worked hard for my Money too, including enduring unbearable Humiliation at Work due to Racism. The young Lady laid her Bed herself. A 40ish-50ish illegal Immigrant Male? If I were a Woman her Age, I would not touch him with a barge Pole, let alone allow him sleep with me. He had to deserve me. How could he be worthy of me if he could not even take Care of own basic Needs? What had he been doing with his Life in Nigeria before “jappa[ing]?” These same woeful Men, Scroungers that they are – they even borrow Money from these Women with no Intention of paying back – are more likely to hit their Benefactor female Partners at the slightest Excuse. Why did you think it is normal Behaviour for your Boyfriend, even if not freeloading off you, to hit you, Akwakristy? You have low Esteem of yourself, young Woman. Unless, you hit your Man first, he has no Right to lay his Hands on you. If you hit him first , it it is Prerogative to to retaliate or not. It is not right for Humans to hit themselves to get their Messages across. Even our supposedly lower Species do not assault themselves as a Matter of Course. The first time a Man hits you, if he was the One to hit you first, should have been your last time with that Man, for Goodness Sake. It should also be the last time of such a Savage ever hitting a Woman. Your Revenge in this Case, I would classify as “operant conditioning.” Note: An older Woman is no less challenging than a younger Woman unless either has been indoctrinated by ‘religional’© Tosh to worship Men. I have been with both. I talk as an heterosexual Male, and I speak only from this Perspective.

 

I did help but she felt entitled

 

I did, actually, assist the  in my Case in other Ways like bringing her to live with me with absolutely no Contribution to my Mortgage or Home running Costs from her. Ergo, she was saving on Accommodation and feeding Costs. I even paid her Driving Fines, bought her Clothes and Jewellery (Fashion), but those Alleviations of mine were not enough for her. She wanted me to cancel the Debts with my Money; Thousands of Pounds she incurred by giving another Man her Bank Card? Again; am I stupid or did I make Money through illegitimate Means? Was she really that presumptuous to believe she could make me retrospectively take Care of a fully grown Man with whom I am not related, and Insult to Injury was her sexual Partner who any Idiot would recognize felt entitled to her Money and was duplicitous even at that? Seriously?  How would she learn if other Men were ready to bail her out of her Stupidity with Men Spongers? My being elderly does not relieve me of my Reason. I spend Money consciously on a Woman so that she can stand on her Feet to be of material Benefit to herself and Family. If in the Future she decides to expend the Proceeds of the Opportunity I gave her on other Men then she has Questions to answer before my Creator. My late 20s young Woman’s abnormal Idiocy was her Cross to bear. Adieu.

 

Postscript – ‘Fairness’ keeps a Relationship together temporarily or permanently

 

‘Fairness is the Root of Graciousness’©, but what is ‘Fairness’? Define ‘Fairness’ whichever Way you want or wish, but here follows my Explanation. In dan Iyan, I.P., Justice as Fairness: an Intellectual Faux Pass: ‘Fairness’ is Equalizing, ‘Justice’ is Disempowering, Amazon, 2014, I argued that    

 

‘Fairness’ underpins an 'inalienable right' of the person ... a natural condition of interplay between individuals [and] the matter of course guarantor of satisfying-outcomes for all engaged in an exchange. The satisfying-outcomes of "fairness" do not have to be equal in weight between parties. They are, instead, entirely dependent on the satisfaction levels of each of those involved in the interplay© Ipemndoh dan Iyan PhM

 

My “Fairness” above nullifies any Accusation of “gold digging” in a sexual romantic Liaison inasmuch as the Partner with the “Gold” is not complaining. “Fairness” is eroded when the “Gold” Owner begins to complain or becomes dissatisfied. In Akwakristy’s Case, it is the latter. So, from a Relationship of Equilibrium, her Boyfriend became persona non grata, a Liability. It is Time for him to take a Walk. He has transformed into a “Gold Digger” from Akwakristy’s Point of View, and any reasonable Observer’s. I can never understand what kind of Persons gave birth to ‘Despicables’© like him. Note: My indented Explanation of “Fairness” is not in any Way proximate to the “Equity Theory” of Relationships. My Explanation is further to my new Theory of Power as ‘Quid Pro Quo Leverage’/’Reciprocal Gains’ in dan Iyan, I.P., The New World Order 1986 to 1999: The Behavior of the United States Within United Nations Security Council Responses to Global Conflicts, University of Aberdeen, 2002.

 

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9 November