Biological Parenthood is not the Essentiality of being a Parent – commenting on a VBlog by Chiamaka Ugoo

Biological Parenthood is not the Essentiality of being a Parent – commenting on a VBlog by Chiamaka Ugoo 

1. First of all, please let me advise y’all that I know about the ‘Holy Bible’. I also know this Book well enough to appreciate that it is a Document of Indoctrination into the Religions of Judaism (Jewish) and Judaeo-Christianity (so-called Christian). It consists of ‘congruent Narratives’© exemplifying unfair Methods (Aims/Means) as Vehicles for Achievements (Objectives/Ends). We have Examples of this Immorality in the Stories of Esau and Jacob in Genesis 27:1-29, and King David stealing Uriah’s Wife, Bathsheba, and sending Uriah to the Battle Front to be killed in 2 Samuel 11:2-27 in flagrant Breaches of  Commandments 13, 14, 15, and 17. How did the ‘God’ of the Holy Bible respond to David’s Iniquities? We know from 2 Samuel 12 that this ‘God’ punished David’s Wives. What the ...? What Wrong did these Wives commit?

2. Let me acquaint my Readers here, at the Beginning of my Observation, with what the Book says about the Relationship between the Parent and the Offspring. One of the Ten Commandments, Commandment V, in Exodus 20:12, instructs: “Honour your father and your mother, so that you may have a long life upon the land ...” This is repeated in Deuteronomy 5:16. Proverbs 6:20-22 advises similarly so does Matthew 19:19 and Ephesians 6:2. 

3. For me, the Importance is in John 2:4. It tells the least intelligent of reasonable Human Minds that there is the Occasion, the Time, that the Child would not approve of the Parent. If Jesus the Christ could be so disrespectful to his Mother, if he, who was ‘God’ on Earth and should have ultimate Control of his Actions and Emotions, could fall short of the fifth Commandment of “honour thy Father and thy Mother,” it means simply that there are Situations when Commandment V should be discarded because of Redundancy. Jesus the Christ had retorted to Mary, his Mother, with “what is that to me and to you, woman?” Yet, all the Mother apparently did wrong was to urge her Son, Jesus the Christ, to perform a Miracle at the Wedding with her Observation of “they have no wine.” (John 2:3). I refer you also to 2 Corinthians 12:14 of Observations of the Parent and Child Natures: “... neither should the Children store up for the parents, but the parents for the children.” You will get the Sense of this Corinthians’ Expectation as you go through my Commentary below. Ipemndoh dan Iyan©

Chiamaka Ugoo 

I could only go as far as almost 6 Minutes watching the Rubbish here in https://youtu.be/oEPVToYG-5U?si=oj9NXxs4WrgbdI7C.  By the Way, Ms Chiamaka Ugoo, it is ‘watching’ not “washing.” The more I watch Chiamaka Ugoo’s VBlogs, the nearer she is becoming nauseating for, and to, me. I think I understand now why her Page was closed on Facebook. She is a violent young Woman and 'materially discriminatory'©; always physically hitting younger Women whose Behaviour she disapproves of and who she is damn certain she is richer than. I am so piqued. Interesting, I have yet to see her hapless younger Victims hit her back. I would if I were them and damn the Consequences of how her Money could punish me. That would be stupid of me, yes, but it would be gratifying to show her that superior social Status or Wealth does not beget Respect. What entitles Respect is Respect. It is quid pro quo Relationship, period. How dare she infringe on the inalienable Right of other Persons?

I am a Parent, too

I am a Father and a grandfather. I am past 66 Years old. I have never believed that a Child owes a Parent anything. No Child ever asked to be born. That you are a biological Parent gives you absolutely no abusive or intimidating Authority or abusive or intimidating Power over your Child. That Child came about through your Selfishness of ‘sexual Indulgence’© unless the Child was planned or intended. It is your Cross to bear as a biological Parent to fend for your Children. In the particular  Case of a Child planned or intended, the biological Parents must be ready to be proper (responsible) Parents. An accountable (responsible) biological Parent must also be a (1) material Parent making sure that the Child has 24/7 Shelter, adequate Clothing and Food, (2) psychological Parent ascertaining that the Child grows up believing the Self to have the Right to exist, that s/he is not inferior to another Child because the Parents are lacking in Money. The psychological Parent instils a great Sense of Wellbeing in the Child. So, if you are a biological Parent without the Attributes of being a material Parent as well as a psychological Parent, please toss your ‘Biologism’© in the Trash Can (Bin, we say in the UK). 

My Defence/Defense of the Child

I sympathise with the young Woman in this Video. Please, remember that I only watched about 6 Minutes of it, and my Commentary is restricted to these 6 Minutes. The Father here suffers from what I identify as the ‘Poverty Complex’© What is there about him that a Child should be proud of? He is certainly materially poor. From his Speech, he sounded uneducated. So, what exactly should the biological Daughter be elated about regarding him? That he put his Spam in her Mother’s Womb is worthy of Applause? What ‘emotional  Drivel’©? I care less. I am so incensed. Procreation ensures the Continuity of Species. It multiplies the Populations of all Organisms. Why originally, I do not know, but the Fact that certain Organisms are now extinct whether by complete Erasure or by Transmutation while Others have evolved sequentially – or almost sequentially – suggests that the Continuity of Species was, and is, a Necessity. It implies, thus, that Offsprings are not to defer to and/or provide for Parents. It, however, mandates that Parents must wean Offsprings to be able to effectively play their Parts in the Continuity of Species. When I talk of Parents, I include all Organisms; HomoSapien and non-HomoSapien.

This Man, apparently has been unable to give his Daughter adequate Shelter, which both Ugoo, and the Boyfriend made clear by Implication in commenting on the Environment they live in. The Daughter might even be the Person providing Clothing and Food for herself, and her Father. So, I ask again, what is there about this Man to be proud about? Yeah, yeah, he is the young Woman’s biological Father. So, what?

He is a “wicked” Person, as his biological Daughter said in the Video. He could not provide for his Daughter but he damages his Daughter’s Relationship with a Man who had assumed his Responsibilities. What a ‘morally wretched’© Person, this Father is. If I were him, I would understand my Daughter’s Situation, as any reasonable Person would have gathered from my preceding Observations. I would never put a Clog in the Wheel of my Daughter’s Happiness and/or Survival away from my Inability to provide for her. I would be proud of her that she has not accepted Wretchedness as Virtue. Let me ask y’all what young Man would have wanted a Relationship with that beautiful young Woman if she opens up from the Onset with “hey, Mister, I think you should know that my Father is poor, and I mean dirt poor. We live in the Pits. We do not eat well, and when you look at ne, Boyfriend, na packaging o o, you dig?” I am pretty sure that the young Man would “pick Race” because he, himself, is looking for a Girlfriend to social climb with i.e., “her Father is a Senator” or “her Mother is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of ...” or “my Girlfriend is a successful Businesswoman, Academic, Doctor, Engineer, Lawyer” or any other Professional.  

Different Types of Lies

I have not written so far that I condone Lies. I have not even suggested that Notion, but I believe that I subconsciously compartmentalize Lies in my Interactions with Others. I personally do not lie because it would diminish my Prestige of myself. I see Lies in the two straightforward Ways of (a) harmful and (b) harmless. I am willing to accept that either Condition would be situational and particular to the Protagonists, the Participants involved in the Lie. However, it is still possible for an Outsider, Moi for Instance, to draw the Line. I bring your Attention again to the Fact that I saw only about 6 Minutes of the Video. In those 6 Minutes, all I heard the Boyfriend grieve about is that the Girlfriend lied to him about her Background despite his paying for her Rent, giving her Money, and so on, and on. Wow, why was he doing these Things for a supposedly affluent Girlfriend if he was not intending to use her for social climbing? He is as guilty as she is in the Lie. They were playing each Other, and she played smarter. In my View, the Lies, implicit from him, but explicit from her, are harmless Lies. 

Unless I consider my Daughter’s Lies harmful would I ever betray her as that awful “Sperm Donor” did. That Man is one of my Confirmations of why we Human Beings behave the Way we do. In his Case, he denies the Reality of his pathetic Existence of unrelenting Poverty. Now, you should ask me what I would do in his Position. 

I am not in his Position

Importantly, I need to let you know that I am grateful to the Almighty –immeasurably thankful, actually – that I am not in the Position of the biological (Sperm Donor to me) Father in the Video. Believe me, I had been where he is right now. I had been poor, extremely so, yet I was not born into Poverty. When I was 20 Months old, my Father already had a Car, the Peugeot 203, and I was 20 Months old long before Nigeria’s so-called Independence in 1960. My Mother’s Mother (maternal Grandmother) was filthy rich. As an infant I wore Gold Chains and knitted Footwear. As a Toddler I wore Shoes. Yet, I became extremely poor for some Years during my early Twenties. When I left that Place called Nigeria – I do not consider myself Nigerian as I was born a CUKC – for the UK finally, I arrived with only a small Shoulder Bag and the worn Shoes I travelled in – my Son later used the Bag in primary School – with hardly any Education – I had the West African School Certificate (WASC), and a one-Year Correspondence Diploma in Journalism – so, I know what Poverty is conjoined with Lack of Education, but I got out. I would not claim this as solely on my Efforts. The Almighty was always with me even when I was not giving her the Glory. I had not realized then that Belief in her is not the same as being entrenched in ‘male-gendered'© Religions. Today, I hold a good honours' bachelor’s degree with my terminal academic Qualification the Master of Philosophy (MPhil/PhM), above the master’s, but below the Doctor of Philosophy (DPhil/PhD). No Family Member or any other Relative contributed to my Education save for sending me to Elementary and Secondary Schools, but I am always grateful to UK Taxpayers for funding my bachelor’s. Every other Qualification I have, I paid for myself and they were not cheap. Materially at some Point, about 10 Years ago, I was short of being a GBP Millionaire on Paper by a Quarter Million. No, no, no, I am not that wealthy anymore, but I will not consider myself ‘financially challenged’© That so-called Father did not get out. I do not know why he did not, but that is irrelevant. Individuals like him can never have my Sympathy; what for? The Fact is that he did not exit his dire Condition. So, what is it about him for anyone to be proud of?

Poverty is no Virtue and certainly nothing a Parent should expect the Offspring to be proud of or about. Okay, I agree it is better to be poor than to be a Thief, including the 419er, the Fraudster, the Scammer, the Public Coffers Raider, but hey, be elated about your Poverty yourself. Do not drag your Children into your Misery of Self-Deceit. It is extremely unfair of you to demand of your Child to beat the Drums of ‘misdirected Triumph’© about your Inadequacy to provide financial Assurances for that Child because you would rather be poor than being a Thief. I have News for you; there are many Ways you do not have to be poor yet not be a Thief. 

The Question remains

The Question remains of what I would do if I were in this poor biological Father’s Shoes. I would have “a Heart to Heart” with my Daughter. I would apologise to her for putting her in that Situation that she could not be proud of me as a biological Father or any other Form of Father. I would ask for her Forgiveness. After all, I brought her into the World and should have been prepared adequately for her Needs. I am not here talking about her Wants. It is about her Needs, stupid, and I refer you again to 2 Corinthians 12:14 that says: “... neither should the Children store up for the parents, but the parents for the children.” I would ask my Daughter to allow me talk to the Boyfriend in order to make him recognize that my Daughter was pushed to err because of my Incapability and Incapacity as a Parent. I would beg him to forgive my Daughter. I would never be too proud to support my Daughter’s Happiness when I had not been able to give her that. I would eat “humble Pie” for her Sake. I did for my Son when it was necessary. I took a Job as a Security Guard despite my good honours' bachelor’s and postgraduate Qualifications to encounter, in most Cases, utter Disrespect, racial Discrimination in Employment, Mockery of my Education, et cetera, from ‘white’ Supervisors who could hardly read or write, inter alia. Why should they not minimise my Education? These were Individuals barely literate, who struggled with basic Syntaxes, and whose familial Heritage is just as illiterate yet were ordering me to jump and stipulating how high I should jump, and when to make the Jump. Get the Picture? I was dirt poor at some Point in the UK too, and then was that Point; many Years of Unemployment in spite of my Education. This was I who had previously been a Manager including working in specialised Roles, but hey, I had a Duty to my Child. It was Time for humble Pie. Material and psychological Parents are alert to this Duty, and they sacrifice all the Time to carry out this Duty to their non-biological Children. So, why should you, who beat your Chest as the “biological” Parent, not be cognizant of this Necessity for you to accomplish for your Children? Why would you not do what material and psychological Parents do, and even more? Bah, I ain’t shedding Tears for you.

So, there.  

Ipemndoh dan Iyan PhM©

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30 March