Thou knoweth: guilty Conscience
A little about me
In about
one Week I will be resident in Scotland for three Years; Edinburgh (New Town
and Old Town), Glasgow, Erskine, and to where I am now permanently. I came from
England, mostly London then Essex. Before then, I was born in a UK Colony (that
later “gained Independence”). Enough said about my early Life except that I am
One you would “usefully” describe as “African” although I see myself as a ‘first
Human’© considering that (1) even the Neanderthal came from ”Africa” – no
Evidence has yet been provided that this Species fell from the Sky to populate Europe
and Parts of Asia – and (2) the current Crop of the Human Species – Homosapiens
– emerged in ‘Africa’. So, to distinguish myself from the later racial
Divisions of the Homosapiens, I refer to myself as the ‘first Human’ or
alternatively the ‘first Homosapiens’©, as all Human Beings on Earth today are ‘African’.
I repeat, ‘Africa’ is the ancestral Root of all Human Beings on Earth today. Those
familiar with my Work would recall that I have previously referred to myself,
and Others like me, as of ‘recent African Origin’ (RAO)’©. I have also,
somewhere, seen myself and those like me, as ‘indigenous African’© for the same
Reason, as explained above. I am not sure if I have published that Piece yet. I
have now discarded those ‘Identifications’. They were never ‘Identities’, as I
have always maintained that all Human Beings are ‘African’. ‘African’ is as
much the Identity of the Human Species, as ‘Homosapiens’ is.
She believed I knew what she
thought I knew
The
Date is Today 9 August 2024. The Day is Friday, and the Time was about 1230hrs
(UK Time). I was walking along a Road in my Town. The Road is sandwiched
between Houses, and the River that courses through our Town of Hawick with a
Park that has won the ‘Green Flag’ global Award three times. The Road is not
quite like those in Venice, Italy, quite yet, but it has the same Feel. I spent
Time in Venice, you see. In Venice though only Pedestrians walk on the Roads.
On this Road in my Town, Vehicles get on it, and park on it, and it can,
actually, take two Vehicles sitting abreast each other or going in opposite
Directions like a normal vehicular Road with enough Room to spare. However, the
only Vehicles allowed on that Road would seem to have to belong to its Residents
or those doing Business with its Residents. The Road has only one-way vehicular
Access through a Side Street. It is a very short Road, never busy, perhaps a
Vehicle on it in may hours. You will come at the End of my Story to appreciate
why I have described this Road at length. I wish you to visualise it, and
review the Incident below within the Description.
I
was walking behind two ‘white’ Ladies who seemed to be in their late forties/early
fifties. I had come across the major Road separating my Road from the shorter
Road connecting to this only barely longer Road. The Local Authority calls my
Road, and this Road, “Street,” but “Street” defies the ‘Logic of Thoroughfare
Identification’©. C’est la vie. The two Women had come on this Road from the
opposite direction of a one-way vehicular Street by turning left into the Road.
One of them caught Sight of me. Our Eyes met, and she almost collided with one
of the stand-alone Hand Railings which also separated the Kerb from the main Part
of this Road. They were probably about 50 Steps away from me at this Point. We
were the only three on the Road. They initially walked close to the Houses when
I joined them on the Road before deciding to get onto the middle of the Road. The
Lady who had looked at me as they turned onto the Road kept looking backwards
at me even though the Distance between us had increased considerably. They were
now about more than 100 Paces away from me, I would think. They had quickened
their Steps.
I
found the Behaviour of the One looking back at me very amusing, and not One for
missing an Opportunity for a Joke, I now hastened up to them calling out
“excuse me” few times. I asked the One doing the looking behind her Shoulder: “come
on, you are looking back at an African dressed like this?” pointing my left
Hand at my Body, and moving it from Head to Toe for her to take in my dressing.
My Voice was neutral, and my Face bland. For me, a Joke is not a Joke when you
are smiling or laughing telling it. Your Smile or Laugh will infect your
Audience. She immediately took Offence, and quite aggressively pushing her Face
almost against my Face said “I was looking back because we don’t know where we
are going. You are oversensitive, you must apologise.” With a Smile now on my
Face, and without any Remonstration, I replied “typically English, I
apologise.” She had spoken with an English Accent. (“Typically English;” demanding
an Apology. I do too, as I am English). She went on ranting with “you must
apologise.” I turned to the other Lady who was quite amiable, and asked, “Have
I not apologised? Okay, I apologise again. I am sorry.” The amiable Lady echoed
the truculent One with “we don’t know where we are going.” She too is English,
but she had a Smile on her Face. I then said to them “actually, it was a Joke
gone wrong. I was joking with you. By the Way, where do you want to go? I might
be able to help.” By this time, I had pulled back slightly away from pleasant
other Woman. The belligerent Lady who had stormed ahead of us turned back
marching towards me, and almost in my Face again, said, “we don’t want a
Conversation.” I replied with: “okay, I am sorry.” By this time, I knew that
her false Defences were up because she believed I knew what she thought I knew.
Yet, when I started, I was only making a Joke.
What did she believe I knew about
her?
When
I departed from the Ladies, I was near one of our Supermarkets in the Town. They
went on walking behind it. I went to the front. I saw a young ‘white’ Couple
alighting from their Car, and asked if I could talk to them. I narrated the
Incident, but did not relay my Joke. The young Woman of the Couple asked me to
tell them the Joke. They happened to be Scottish. As soon as I told the Joke with
the same Demonstration as with the English Women, she burst out laughing saying,
“it is funny.” I then said, “I am a social Scientist, and I think she got upset
with me because she thought I found her out.” The young Woman agreed with,
“yes, you found her out because I don’t see why she should be angry with what you
said.”
The
Fact is that the disagreeable English Woman overrated herself. She was
defensive from Guilt as she believed I thought she is a Racist because of what
I said to her. For moi, Ipemndoh dan Iyan, to consider any ‘white’ Folk racist
towards me, that ‘white’ Folk must have ‘racially abusive Power’© over me. That
Woman had zilch Power over me. She does not decide whether or not I have
Food on my Table (Livelihood) or determine where I lay my Head to sleep
(Accommodation) or how educated I could be, should be, or I am (Grades/Marks at
School/Classification of Degree/Assessment of Dissertation & Viva Voce) or
the Level of Health Care I receive (medical Staff) or whether I could retain my
Dignity or not (Police) or if I should live or die (Police). I would recognise her,
though, as racist if my Kind suffers any or all of the above Harms
at her Hands.
That
obnoxious Woman is inconsequential to my Existence, so how on Earth would I
categorise her looking back at me, afraid of own Shadow, as Racism towards me?
For all I knew at the Point of my approaching her, and her Friend to talk to
her, she could have been admiring my Outfit or even me, myself. I have come
across Men and Women in Africa, Europe including the UK, Western Asia (Middle
East), and the United States of America complimenting my Dress Style and/or my
Person. A male African-American New Yorker about my Age in 2003 asked me at the
Counter at a McDonald’s in Los Angeles, USA, where I got the Shoes I was
wearing from, and requested to seat with me in the Restaurant proper to talk
apprising me that he had actually followed me into the Restaurant. We became Friends
for the Remainder 3 Weeks of my ca 1 Month Stay. Just Friends, People;
do not start imagining Things. An older African-Caribbean Man at a Bank in
London, England, actually appreciated me with “you are one hell of a
good-looking man.” One ‘white’ young Man on a London Tube asked me what Job I
did to dress the Way I did. One ‘white’ young Woman, 30ish, on the Tube in
London deliberately stepped on my Foot in my Alligator Skin Shoes for no more
than I could deduce as Envy. One other young ‘white’ Lady, again on the Tube,
deliberately spilled Coffee on my tan coloured Shoes. One beautiful ‘white’
young Woman – in her late 20s, I asked her Age – sat on my Laps on a London Tube
saying she wanted to date me. Unfortunately for me, I was married at the Time. Long
time ago now; around 2010. I was entering a Female Cosmetics Store in Dubai,
UAE in 2022, when two young Female Sales’ Agents, West Asian or North African –
most definitely in their 20s – met me in the middle of the Store only to
compliment my dressing and my Looks, nothing more, despite my kind of 5 Months’
Pregnancy that I was really ashamed of. I came across two YorubaNigerians at
different times in England in the wider Town I was living in, ca 2017, a
Female and a Male both unknown to each other, but more than Acquaintances with
me; the Man unhappy, and the Woman enraged that I do not
“dress your Age.” I did not know exactly what was their Bother; that I am about
5 – 10 Years older than either, but still dressed the Way I did (still do) or
that they could not afford my Clothing or that they could not dare dress the
Way I did (still do)? Quite frankly, I do not know how Age has anything to do
with Dress Sense or Style (when One is an Adult). Yeah, I am really going to be
67 Years old in Days. No, no; Age is not a Number. Say “Age is a Number” only
to fool yourself or flatter someone. Age is real. I am a Senior, and I am proud
I am. It took me a long Journey to get here. Many, known and unknown to me,
never got this far.
It
is a different Question if that hostile Woman of Today believed I thought that
by her looking back at me she was being racialist towards me. I do not believe
she has the ‘intellectual Wherewithal’© to make the Distinction between
Racialism, and Racism, so I think she believed I thought she was a Racist. If
she happens to possess the ‘cognitive Acumen’© to believe I thought she was
being racialist towards me, and if indeed, she is a Racialist, her Kind is the
least of my Worries. Racialists are in the bottom Rung of the ‘Human mental
evolutionary Ladder’©, and are insignificant to me unless they
pose a Threat to my Life with their ‘primordial Animal Violence’©. Her’s is the
sort of ‘absent Intelligence’© that is most sorrowful. She was not even able to
extricate herself from a most ‘mundane propositional Corner’© (‘propositional
Corner’©, per se). How on earth can even the most ‘minimally
intelligent Person’© excuse her/his ‘circumstantially suspect Behaviour’© (‘circumstantially
suspect’©, per se, and ‘suspect Behaviour’©, per se)
of looking behind her or his Shoulder every so often at a Man of recent African
Origin/Heritage so far behind her on the Road I have painstakingly described
above with “[I] don’t know where [I am] going?” In addition, what was it that
she believed I was “oversensitive” about that I “must apologise” to her for?
Hey, she knoweth, and she sayeth.
Ipemndoh
dan Iyan PhM©
AsimauGlobalMedia©
All
Rights 2026©
17
September
https://ipemndohdaniyan.blogspot.com/2024/08/thou-knoweth-guilty-conscience.html
- 12 August 2024 – originally uploaded, but has been revised with this current
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